slash goggles
by bearfuck
Summary: Haru has a gift for spotting sexual tension. Sort of 8059.


**Title: **slash-goggles  
><strong>AuthorArtist: **bandanability  
><strong>Rating: <strong>PG-ish  
><strong>Warnings: <strong>YAOI FANGIRLISM~  
><strong>Prompt: <strong>1 − 40. Yamamoto/Gokudera – UST; "why are you staring at my nipple?"  
><strong>Word count:<strong> 811  
><strong>Summary: <strong>Haru has a gift for spotting sexual tension.

Many of Tsuna's friends don't give Haru the credit she deserves. They don't realize she's smart, and they don't realize she's perceptive.

They also don't realize that she can spot sexual tension from miles away, thanks to her experience with some of the fanfiction she (secretly) enjoyed so very much. And oh, boy, there was plenty of it to be found in Namimori.

At first, the worst offenders seem to be Gokudera and Tsuna. Gokudera fits the stalker-with-a-crush archetype perfectly, only happy with Tsuna around and often _following_ Tsuna around. He never says no to "Tenth" and _god damn_, she has never seen that kind of devotion. But she decides not to try to force them together, because she doesn't want to encourage Tsuna to go for anyone else, and because she sees _so many other options._

One afternoon, she's sitting in class when she decides to make a chart of all of the males in her life's sexual tension. And it's _amazing_. Not one of them is free from some kind of potential slashy relationship. She grins, and decides she's going to make some of these relationships work. Plus, if she gets everyone distracted, nobody will be able to move in on Tsuna except for Haru!

She decides that Gokudera is her biggest competition right now, so she'll pair him off first.

Out of the lines connecting him (or rather, his crotch) to others, the two to Tsuna and Yamamoto are thickest. And thus, she decides that she's going to try to pair him up with the "baseball idiot." Which, she observes, he actually says rather affectionally. And it's adorable, especially the way Yamamoto looks at Gokudera, almost like a puppy. And they get (well, Gokudera gets) so _heated_ when they're bickering, but when they're getting along, they're so very cheerful!

Yes, Haru decides, Yamamoto and Gokudera are definitely in love.

After this realization, she chooses to devote some of her considerable brainpower to helping them realize this. She deliberately arranges situations in which they'll be forced to be alone together (dragging Tsuna into other rooms when they're all doing homework together, having Lambo cause trouble) and then eavesdrops or uses her binoculars so that she can make sure they're confessing their feelings.

Problem is, no matter how many times she tries this, they never do. They just sit awkwardly and Gokudera insults Yamamoto, and it's no different from any other time, even though they _should_ be working very hard at making butt-babies.

She determines that the two of them are hopeless on their own, and that they need a little prodding. She invites them both to the beach, with her and Tsuna and Kyoko and everyone, and she tells everyone else that they're going to need to all gradually slip away around noon. She doesn't give a specific reason, but she implies that it's very important, and it works.

At around 11:55, Ryohei jumps up.

"Someone appears to be drowning! They look like they extremely need to be saved!" Without waiting for a response, he runs off, shouting. Haru smiles. It's not long before Lambo causes a commotion that allows him and Kyoko to escape, Reborn following them. Then Tsuna announces he's going to the bathroom, which is the hardest part.

"Wait, Tenth, I'll come with you!" Gokudera stands. "You remember last time we were at the beach!"

"Eh? Ah, no, Gokudera, that's fine!" He waves his hands around in a general gesture of "no." "I think that's where Reborn went," he shouts before sprinting away. Gokudera starts to follow him, but Haru sticks her foot in the way and he trips. By the time he looks up again, Tsuna has disappeared.

Gokudera glares at Haru. "What the hell was that for?"

"Hahi? No, no, it was an accident! Haru's very clumsy!" She prides herself on her acting talent - she knows how to act clueless when she needs to. _Time for phase two_, she thinks.

"Well, shit, you - why are you staring at my nipple?"

Okay, not part of her plan, but she can roll with it. She looks at him. "Ah! No! I mean… I think you should get it pierced." She makes her voice sound thoughtful and as serious as she can make it. "Yamamoto, what do you think?"

"Ahaha, I can see that."

Gokudera scowls (affectionately, of course.) "Say that again, idiot." While they're distracted for the moment, Haru grabs her bag and runs into the bushes. When she gets there, she pulls out her binoculars and watches them.

When she gets it into focus, she sees that Yamamoto is staring at Gokudera's nipple (exactly as planned), looking utterly transfixed. He says something, and Gokudera's leaning in, and Haru does a little fist-pump. _They're going to kiss~_ she thinks, and then watches as Gokudera gives Yamamoto a beating that might just land him in the hospital.

But Haru is not discouraged, because she knows they're in love.


End file.
